Lugaw, Anyone?
Everyone in the Philippines has been talking about lugaw lately, thanks to our horrible lockdown implementation, leading to a situation where a local official tried to block a Grab delivery of the said meal, deeming it as “non-essential”. Normally I’d have quite a bit to say about that, but this new bizarre national topic reminds me of a far more personal story.
I haven’t been a fan of lugaw — particularly arroz caldo — for the last 22 years. When I was in Grade 2, regular classes were held in the afternoon, but club hour was held in the morning. As a Star Scouts (a PH Junior Girl Scout) member, I had this full day schedule once a week. Being an extremely introverted child, I soon found that I had no close friends from my club, and thus, no one to eat lunch with. Our school canteen had great food choices (some of the best I’ve encountered to this day) and plenty enough seats, but the idea of sharing a table — not to mention an acquaintance seeing me and branding me a friendless loner! — made me extremely uncomfortable.
A solution dawned on me: I just had to find a meal which I didn’t have to eat at the canteen. Rice meals or pasta were out of the question–they were served on paper plates and I hadn’t yet mastered the art of eating just about anywhere. Somehow I skipped on burgers, pizza, or sandwiches, probably because they didn’t qualify as a “proper meal” to someone raised on eating rice for lunch. Instead, I settled on arroz caldo. It had rice, chicken, and even a boiled egg — all the makings of a proper, healthy lunch. The best thing about our canteen’s arroz caldo was that it came in a very portable, discreet styrofoam cup (being eco-conscious was barely a concept those days). I could bring it around and not have to eat lunch in hurried awkwardness while staring across the table at a stranger.
So I was settled. Every week, for the rest of the school year, I would leave club hour to buy my arroz caldo in a cup, wander away from the canteen, and eat my “proper” lunch in peace. I often chose what we called the “Prep corridor” for my solitary meal, watching the other children play in the open area in front of it. Then I’d just have to wait for the rest of my batchmates to come in for regular class. Club day and my dignity were saved.
That went on for a year, but what I didn’t realize then was that my “life hack” would result in me being utterly sick of arroz caldo. Years after, I wouldn’t eat any kind of lugaw, and started to hate the taste of ginger. Having a sick day? Feed me instant mami or chicken noodle soup instead, please. No lugaw for me.
The aversion of eating alone in public also stayed with me for a while. In college, I could never go into a proper restaurant and order a meal just for myself — well, I couldn’t afford it at the time — but I learned to eat alone at fast food places eventually. Later on, I grew older and started simply not caring about what others thought of me. (Plus, video streaming on mobile phones became an easy way to completely ignore your surroundings, so thank you, Netflix.) Pre-pandemic, in the middle of a stressful or tiring work day, I would actually relish going out to lunch by myself.
My taste for ginger never quite recovered, but today my partner decided to make arroz caldo, and I actually quite enjoyed it. Sitting safe in our living / dining room with a comforting meal, I’m thankful that while I’ve reached an age where solitude doesn’t equate to loneliness anymore, I also have the people dearest — most essential — to me close by. That, and the fact that my partner’s cooking is so good, maybe I’ll actually start liking arroz caldo again.
